Monday, June 22, 2009

Learning Curves

I think I have a retarded learning curve. Somewhere between the womb and age 8 my ability to learn seems to have stopped. I say this because it feels like all the lessons I've learned since age 8 have been the same few over and over and over again. It's like I. Just. Can't. Get. It. And it can be sooo frustrating. Don't you ever feel that way? I'm hoping so, for the sake of my own pride.

Here I am in Provo, Utah feeling truly humbled and blessed by the same lessons the Lord has taught me in the past.

As I look over the last several weeks, even the last several months, I can see the ways in which I've been pointed to this very place at this very time. There was disapointment, frustration, anxiety, sadness, and stress. Yet through these experiences it was like the Lord, in his own time and his own way brought me here, knowing I wouldn't easily make the decision on my own to cut my summer short and return to Provo.

Yet, as I ultimately made the decision on June 12th to take summer classes starting June 22nd, and as I forced myself to be confident in that choice I have felt the reassurances that I needed to move forward, to exercise faith, and place myself at the tender mercy of our Heavenly Father.

In the last few days so much has come together, whether it was a few extra dollars that allowed me to have gas to get it here. Or the fact that fresh fruit at Wal-Mart was on sale for 98 cents. I think the true epiphany came when I was sitting in my old roommate/friend Kate's apartment last night. I had just gotten into town and was drinking a glass of water, pondering at the prospect of starting classes in the morning.

It just so happened that one of Kate's roommates was being visit taught by my old visiting teacher, Liz's, roommate Cheryl. As Cheryl was leaving we talked for a bit and it came to light that she was the only one in her apartment. Liz had been visiting family and the othe room was completely empty. Instead of sleeping on Kate's couch or lovesac and battling four other girls for the bathroom in the morning, I would have my own bed and no battles over the shower. Turns out that Cheryl, in her gemstone of a sweetheart, is going to let me bum here for a while until my next paycheck comes and I am able to pay rent. And then hopefully I will just be able to stay here for the rest of the term. Coincidence that Cheryl and I just happened to meet up last night? Highly doubtful. More like the Lord's watchful care.

"...tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence." David A. Bednar, “The Tender Mercies of the Lord,” Liahona, May 2005, 99–102

Today was my first day of classes. I have to tell you, I am anxious, nervous, and yet I have these feelings of excitement bubbling under the surface.

I was put on the Metro "desk" covering the National/White House/ Political "beat." I feel good about it. I also take confidence in the fact that my gruff, buzzed-hair editor, Rich, already knows my name and had me pinned for this beat shortly after meeting me.

Things are clicking, at least for a few days, which is a nice reprieve after months of awkward unsettledness. I've once again learned that as we exercise faith (not just have it) and try to align ourselves withh God, he'll bless us and guide us in his own humbling ways.

I feel optimistic and it's a nice change of mental scenery.

1 comment:

Kylee said...

Oh the lessons of life :) You would think we would have them figured out by now, right? I am glad that you went back to take you summer classes. It sounds like things are falling into place at the exact time that they need too.
I am not going to lie though, I do miss you and so does the little man :)