When upon life's billows....

"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, count your many blessings; name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

I changed my background. It is my attempt at optimism...green...growth, newness, life, and someday possibly Spring. I will have to redo my pictures and stuff, but oh well.

I began this entry on Sunday night, but was too tired to complete it and went to bed. I had had a bit of an unsettling week, just a lot ot stress and anxiety and was on the verge of a breakdown! But, my friend Kara invited me out to her brother and sister in-law's for dinner. The food was so great! The company was fun, too, and it was just nice to get out of my own head for a few hours. A couple hours later I was able to talk to Kylee for a couple hours. It is always comforting to talk to someone you've known a long time and accepts you for you. So, Sunday night, amidst my angst, the above excerpt from a favorite hymn came to mind, and I decided to do that. I was overwhelming grateful for two F words in my life....Friends and Food!

There is nothing quite like an ear of someone who cares, and down home cooking to fill the hunger of body and soul. I am grateful for those people in my life that my Heavenly Father has seen fit to place in my path, to teach, to guide, to laugh with, and to love.

Two days later things are on the upswing! I am excited to announce that my housing contract for Spring/Summer has been officially sign, sealed, and delivered (to borrow a Stevie Wonder phrase)! I have only one final left! My mom is not in fact dying of breast cancer (thanks for the scare, ma!). I will soon be squishing my toes in the beaches of the Oregon coast. I have a job lined up for the summer, though it isn't ideal, it pays for the bacon. I have friends and family awaiting my arrival, and hopefully some of Eli's birthday cake, too. Mmmm, I love cake! It is a new love of mine, but one I know will last as long as my tastebuds do.

I feel like five hundred pounds have been lifted from off my chest! I am even optimistic that warm weather will indeed grace us soon....If crossing my fingers doesn't work then I know folding my arms will.... ;-)

Hope everyone else is able to remember the little and great things in life that make is such a beautiful ride.

In the home stretch

Well kids....not a lot has happened since I last wrote.

I thought I had my contract sold....then the girl, Courtney called yesterday and said she actually decided to move back home to California. I was very upset. I thought I had this huge burden lifted, but then, nope....I came crashing right back down. It's frustrating too, because she had told me to take my sign out of the window on Saturday. Well Sunday and Monday were gorgeous, warm, sunny days and everyone was out walking and biking, driving slowly with the windows down, in other words, perfect days for advertizing my apartment. So, please continue to pray for some soul who will come take this thing off my shoulders. I had had on my dry erase board the note "Call Courtney" but after she called me with the distressing news I erased the "call" and wrote "kill." I was only kind of joking ;-)

I have no more classes this semester! Yesterday was the last day of classes. Yay! Actually, it hasn't really set in. Last night at the gym I was thinking about what time I needed to go to bed so that I could wake up for class. It was silly. By the way, Kylee, if you read this, I've been running on the treadmill....shocking I know! But, I often think of you when I am on there. I've been running, including my "cool down," for about 33 minutes, plus two minutes of walking. I am just shy of running three miles, maybe by next week I'll be in good enough shape to hit three miles...I mean, that 11 minutes per mile.

Monday I didn't do so hot on my bootcamp. I ate a few too many calories. A group of us went to this new Gelato shop on Center Street to celebrate Kara getting into the Advertising Creative program, which is really tough. They only let in 16 people! So I hit the gym after, and then again yesterday, even though yesterday wasn't in my little "boot camp" plan.

The weather Tuesday was 47 degrees cooler than Monday. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

I was supposed to go to a review this morning, I hit the snooze on my alarm, but apparently it was just the off button. I slept until about nine, when my review was supposed to start. Then Michelle (my roomie) made us some pancakes to jump start the finals experience. I have two more reviews to go to today. Two tomorrow, then my first final is Friday.

Watched the Biggest Loser Finale last night! I, like so many others, have been an avid watcher this season. I got really nervous for Ali because Roger looked so thin!!! But, then she burst through that old picture of her and she looked AMAZING! She lost 112 pounds! Incredible. I was also impressed with the brown team, and Amanda - the one married to Neil - even though she wasn't HUGE to begin with you could see she had worked really hard and looked so much better, oh, and Dan's mom looked so great! I was also really impressed with Bernie and Brittany. Brittany was in the 170's still but she looked fantastic. It was a good little boost for my own fitness to watch all of their progress. They said Paul, Kelly's ex was "sick." Does anybody believe that? I think he was just still fat and didn't want to show his face. But I thought he should've sucked it up and come, Lynn, the old man, hadn't lost much and still showed up.... So anyway, afterward I went to the gym and on my run I felt like passing out, or at least slowing way down, or cutting my run short. But I didn't, I kept thinking about the contestants and how they wouldn't stop. I also thought of Jillian standing right in front of me yelling at me to keep going.... It was helpful and I stayed on for my full run...whew!

Well kids, I'll be coming home in about 9 days....

S-T-R-E-S-S

If I could describe that last few days, aside from today, in one word, it would be STRESS. Tuesday night I went to bed and I was laying there and started thinking about all these different things....my worries, concerns, assignments, tests, projects, blah, blah, blah. I literally got sick to my stomach. I had to get up and take a pepto-bismal (a chewable so it wasn't so bad) and hope that I didn't spew(I hate throwing up). After laying down around midnight I think I finally settled myself down enough to fall asleep after 2am. The bad thing was that I had to wake up at 7am to go up to campus because an tookpak wouldn't add to my Excel without making the program crash. I had to have that tookpak so that I could run a statistical regression on data I had collected, interpret it, and do a report on it by 5pm that same day. Plus, I had three classes to go to.

After hours in my own personal dungeon (the computer lab in the basement, with no windows, of the Kimball Tower, the tallest building on campus), I got the assignment turned in. I should have felt relief and even euphoria! It was the last major assignment for the Political Inquiry class which has had a major writing assignment due every week. It is a 4 credit class and it has been intense. I count it as a little victory that I never gave up, and not only survived by did pretty well on most of the assignments. I've measured this semester by that class. One paper down, ten to go....five down, six to go..... etc. etc. But I didn't feel so much relief. I saw my teaching assistant for that class, Brooke, right after I turned it in and as we talked I said, "I think we are all just a little worn out." Now I just have the ugly, frightening final. The average for which is a D. Say your prayers for me, a'ight?

I've also been stressed about finances! Sheesh! I cannot wait for the day in which I can't even get cash back at Wal-Mart because I don't have the 20 buck minimum in my account! Plus, I have to sell my housing contract for spring/summer, otherwise I have to pay 210 a month for four months.... And I am planning on coming home! Boise Cascade has already given me a job for the summer (as long as I haven't picked up a drug habit or committed any felonies since lase summer).

Anyway, I think my stress level hit it's climax at 2am Wednesday morning. But I wouldn't be surprised if it comes back around the same time next week.

Luckily I've been blessed with good health all semester. I haven't gotten a cold or flu all semester, and I am so grateful! I just hope I don't get knocked out with something during finals, which start next Friday. Only 3 days of actual classes left! I've also been getting back into the gym. I started going again around the end of February, but I was eating like crap. I've started my own little "boot camp" for three weeks. I just started on Monday, but so far so good. The plan is hitting the gym 4-5 times a week. Doing 3 days of cardio + strength training and 2 days of cardio + abs. I am also watching my calorie intake. Hopefully I can shed the few pounds I've put on this semester. So for all those out there who have been dieting, are dieting, or are thinking about it.... I AM HERE FOR YOU! AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN!

I register for fall classes tonight at midnight. It's hard to be excited for a new semester when you feel like you are barely keeping your head above water in the current one. I am excited to get home! I'll pull into town somewhere around the 27th. Then around the 1st I am headed to the west side to see a few friends and walk along the coast (something I haven't done in years!). Ahh....summer can't come soon enough....Even if I am going to be working at that sawdusty place again. Sheesh.

The Tale of Two Sisters

So, Zoey came to visit....

She flew in on a Wednesday evening. She walked off the plane shaking her head because she said she was sick the whole time, though luckily she didn't throw up. Being the big sister I am, I bought her an outrageously priced Sprite out of the vending machine while we waited for her suitcase. After some mishaps (like Zoey leaving her IPod, cellphone, camera, and money on the parking shuttle) we headed into downtown Salt Lake. We explored Temple Square, took in the new Joseph Smith movie, and then met up with my old friends from Rexburg, Melanie and Chelsea for dinner and desert at this restaurant, The Dodo, by the huge Gateway Mall. The food and company was great, and then we headed back to Provo which is about a forty minute drive.




Thursday morning I scrambled to get a midterm done and then we headed up to Sundance for some afternoon skiing. Zoey is new to snowboarding, at least real snowboarding, so she spent most of her time on the handle tow, which was free. I went up the lifts by myself. The weather around here had been quite warm that week and Sundance is only a 20 minute drive from Provo. So a lot of the snow was gone and what remained was either hard and grooved in the shade or slushy and bumpy in the sun. I was super tired by the end of the afternoon. With my good looks and charm I got the workers to let Zoey go up on the lift once, at the end. She did really well! It was a fun afternoon.

That evening I made us a fetticini dinner and then we went and caught a movie at the buck fifty theatre. We saw 27 Dresses, which we both really liked.

Friday I had classes, and we bummed around campus. That night we went to the BYU Creamery and got some burgers, fries and ice cream. Soooo good. We ended up at my friend Kara's watching 'What Not to Wear' all night.

Saturday was a pretty casual day. We met up with Suci, Mclain, Halee, Mckinna, and Ethan in the afternoon. They were in town for orthodontist appointments and Mclain was buying a new truck. We visited with Suci for about an hour before she left to go back up to Wyoming. All of us kids were gonna get some food and then go to a movie, but Suci ran out of gas a short distance into her trip. So Mclain, his friend Jasper, and Ethan had to go help her out. Mckinna and Halee stayed with Zo and me. After eating we took some pictures in the photo booth and then went into a shop and did some looking. Mclain came and picked up the girls and they all had to leave. It was good to see them all though, even if it was only for a few hours. Zoey looked around the mall some more. We picked up a movie at a Redbox and then went home and just watched a movie all cozied up on my bed.

Sunday we went to church and then lazied away most the day. Kara came over that night and we spent hours doing nothing. Zoey and I were deciding how to get our hair cut the next day.

Monday morning I woke up early to work on this big assignment I had due. I let Zoey sleep until 11am! I went to classes, then came back and we went to the Paul Mitchell Hair School. We were there for a couple hours! But, we both walked out really happy. I had to run back to campus to turn in that big assignment by 5pm.

We then packed our bags, ate some pancakes that my roomie Michelle made us and headed to Salt Lake where we watched the Jazz beat the Wizards by 40 points. I have no pictures of that because we took Zoey's camera, mine was dead. That night we stayed the night at my friend Melanie's in SLC. In the morning I took Zo to the airport, bought her some dramamine, a magazine, gave her a hug and sent her on her way.

I decided I am going to be a clingy mother, because I had THE hardest time just sending Zoey through security and on her way. She only had a 50 minute flight for crying out loud and was landing in a relatively small airport.

My forty minute drive home was a battle. I was so tired! I almost fell asleep on the road at 9 o'clock in the morning! It was because if all the stuff Zoey and I did, plus I wasn't sleeping much because while Zoey slept I did my homework, and when I was sleeping I didn't sleep well.

Anyway, I was really glad that Zoey could come hang out. I know it was a good getaway for her, from school, sports, friends, Max, Riley, Eli.... ;-) We love um, but everyone needs a break. I lover her tons and was glad that we could strengthen our sisterly bond!

I have eight days of classes left! Insanity! Then a couple reading days and then its finals time. I have tons to do before I can get home, but I think I'll manage. I am excited because a couple days after returning home Kara and I have a roadtrip planned to Portland, Eugene, and the beach, before we have to waste our summer away at the ParticleBoard Plant.... Sheesh.

Free Bird

Have you ever heard that Lynard Skynard song, "Free Bird?" It's a classic, you should listen to it, and it is my anthem for the week.

I just took Zoey to the airport this morning after a five day visit. I am exhausted, because after days of fun and activity, I spent the time she was sleeping trying to stay afloat with midterms and homework. In fact I just turned in my second to last huge assignment in my Political Inquiry class, and have a New Testament midterm I have to take today, plus a meeting for a group presentation I have to do sometime sooner than I want. I am excited that it is April, but I am not excited for all that it means I have to gear up and do. I am going to take a nap because I can barely keep my eyes open. So I will post more details on her visit later.

But, I did cut my hair. I love it. It is edgy, funky, and great. The picture doesn't do it justice. It makes me look older, and they cut off all my old highlighted parts which makes my natural color appear so much lighter. Anyway, peace out, listen to that song, and say a little prayer for me and my sanity.